Hey Springfield....
I've got my hottest deal ever this week only.... Are you short on cash? Do you not have a lot of time? But still need some relief? I have just the deal for you!!!
Call or text so I can tell you all about it....
I'm bored and available 24 hours a day 7 days a week and currently accepting appointments....
Won't you come play with me?
Now accepting appointments
Call or text... 4179120926